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Jeff Levy, LCSW

         Mental Health, Relationships, Trauma, Identity

1/9/2019 0 Comments

If You Really Knew Me

Jeff Levy, LCSW
(originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, August 2014)
While discussing a case with a colleague, the topic of feeling fraudulent arose.   The young woman she was working with was exceptionally bright, attractive, and accomplished, yet still she felt a sense of fraudulence.  She believed that if others really knew her, they would “find out,” and once she was found out, she would be rejected and shamed.  Logically this made no sense to her, but it felt so deep—so ingrained—that it seemed impossible to believe otherwise.
 
As we talked more about her client, I became aware of how many people I’ve worked with over the years who have also experienced this sense of fraudulence.  From the flutter in my stomach and pressure on my chest, I realized how much the theme of fraudulence has been one I have also managed for most of my life.  I know there is a component of feeling fraudulent that has pushed me to work harder and to succeed both personally and professionally.  I suspect, however, that there is a heaviness to holding this fraudulence that holds me back; that weighs me down because on some deep level I don’t believe I know what I’m doing.

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