Jeff Levy, LCSW
Mental Health, Relationships, Trauma, Identity
1/9/2019 0 Comments Rupture and repairJeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, August 2014) Abby shot up from her seat and ran out of my office. I asked her to stop and tell me what was wrong, but she left without saying a word. I quickly called her cell phone but she didn’t pick up so I left a message. I tried to reach her later that evening and I still got her voice mail.
I had an urge to continue to reach her throughout the week, prior to her next regularly scheduled weekly appointment, but I also had an inkling that she’d only feel more pressured and anxious. She’d never left my office like that before and I was fairly sure I had unknowingly said or done something that triggered her response. I decided to wait until our next scheduled appointment, hoping she would attend as she had done in the past.
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Jeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, July 2014) “Hey Jeff, I just realized that by the end of this month I’ll have known you for 14 years. I didn’t realize we’d been seeing each other that long. Did you?” I thought for a few seconds about Adam’s statement and question before responding. “What makes you think of that now,” I asked. I prepared myself for a response about him feeling like he’d made no progress, or him telling me something about how this must mean there is really something terribly or deeply wrong with him. I was just sitting in this office thinking about who I was when I walked in all those years ago, and who I am now. I feel kind of proud of myself,” he responded. “Thank you.”
I glanced at my appointments for the rest of the week. I wondered about the length of time I have been seeing other clients. I wasn’t surprised when I counted seven clients this week who I have been seeing for over 10 years. I haven’t been seeing any of them weekly all these years, but there have been periods of regular sessions, periods of meetings twice per month, and then months and sometimes years between any sessions at all. When I looked more closely at my overall caseload, I found that I had another 6 clients I have been seeing for over 15 years. In today’s world of immediate gratification, immediate results, and evidence based practices, I asked myself how I can explain these long-term therapy relationships. 1/6/2019 0 Comments Will You "Get It?"Jeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, May 2014) When a potential client called the agency I used to work at, and spoke to our intake staff, we asked a host of questions to connect the client with one of our therapists who, based on the client’s concerns, is the most appropriate and best fit we can find. We’ll ask about reasons for seeking therapy and we’ll ask if the client has a preference in terms of therapist gender, therapist areas of expertise, and any other preferences.
Some of our callers will also specify a preference for a therapist’s culture, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. These questions, I believe, are an attempt at ensuring a therapist will “get it” based on shared experience and/or shared identities. There was a time when I automatically assumed this as well, without question. Now I find that “getting it” is less about exact shared historical experience and more about the shared present moment. 1/6/2019 0 Comments Closer Than We ThinkJeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, March 2014) When I talk about the work I do I with other professionals and students, I often share that some of my most intimate relationships are with my clients. I frequently see eyebrows raise; often two people glancing at one another with a knowing look. I imagine they are silently communicating their judgment---that I have a problem with boundaries. I wonder if they are thinking that I am lonely, or sad…or that I don’t know how to meet my needs in my personal relationships.
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