Jeff Levy, LCSW
Mental Health, Relationships, Trauma, Identity
Jeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, October 2014)
I imagine a record screeching to a halt with that last request. I can hear therapists and intake coordinators around the country struggling with how to best respond.
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1/9/2019 0 Comments Better Late Than NeverJeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, August 2014) There have been many times over the years, when someone shares with me something new, sometimes even when we’ve known each other for many years. This comes up not only in my work with clients, but also with people with whom I have had longstanding friendships. I usually don’t think twice when I’m learning something new at the beginning of a relationship. But something feels different when I get new information after knowing someone for a good amount of time.
With friends, I think I used to feel offended when I learned something I hadn’t known before. It felt like somehow I wasn’t trustworthy enough to have this information. Or maybe my friends though I might judge them if they shared something more personal or something perhaps they felt ashamed of. 1/9/2019 0 Comments Rupture and repairJeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, August 2014) Abby shot up from her seat and ran out of my office. I asked her to stop and tell me what was wrong, but she left without saying a word. I quickly called her cell phone but she didn’t pick up so I left a message. I tried to reach her later that evening and I still got her voice mail.
I had an urge to continue to reach her throughout the week, prior to her next regularly scheduled weekly appointment, but I also had an inkling that she’d only feel more pressured and anxious. She’d never left my office like that before and I was fairly sure I had unknowingly said or done something that triggered her response. I decided to wait until our next scheduled appointment, hoping she would attend as she had done in the past. 1/9/2019 0 Comments If You Really Knew MeJeff Levy, LCSW (originally posted on Branching Out: The Live Oak Blog, August 2014) While discussing a case with a colleague, the topic of feeling fraudulent arose. The young woman she was working with was exceptionally bright, attractive, and accomplished, yet still she felt a sense of fraudulence. She believed that if others really knew her, they would “find out,” and once she was found out, she would be rejected and shamed. Logically this made no sense to her, but it felt so deep—so ingrained—that it seemed impossible to believe otherwise.
As we talked more about her client, I became aware of how many people I’ve worked with over the years who have also experienced this sense of fraudulence. From the flutter in my stomach and pressure on my chest, I realized how much the theme of fraudulence has been one I have also managed for most of my life. I know there is a component of feeling fraudulent that has pushed me to work harder and to succeed both personally and professionally. I suspect, however, that there is a heaviness to holding this fraudulence that holds me back; that weighs me down because on some deep level I don’t believe I know what I’m doing. |
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